¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The value of friendship

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿Ï
2022-01-06 702

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Humans are social animals. Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values. When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society. In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, James! Thanks for sharing your overview about the value of friendship. I admire you on how you value your friends this much. They must be  proud of you then. I wish I have a friend like you. I appreciate you for writing this essay. Keep it up! See you later.

~T. Annie




Humans are social animals.
>>Correct!
 Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
>>Since we were born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lovers , co-workers, and etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
>>Among them, it is not an exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
 When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society.
>>  When we were in school, we could learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends which is a kind of small society.
In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. 
>>In addition, most of my friends are my age so I can tell them my concerns or discuss any topics which I can't tell my parents.
Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.
>>Finally, when I'm in trouble , they  help and comfort me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113719 low-paying jobs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 398
113718 Are all cheap items bad in quality? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113717 Please describe your hometown. ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 597
113716 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 446
113715 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1045
113714 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 0
113713 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 539
113712 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 454
113711 Is technology a good or a bad thing? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 0
113710 HOMEWORK: Any special plans for this weekend? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113709 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1119
113708 HOMEWORK: What are the things that you need to fix? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113707 HOMEWORK: Would you like to travel by car? by plane? by boat? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113706 Homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 511
113705 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 852
113704 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 534
113703 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 5
113702 Physical feature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113701 What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 476
113700 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04