¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to my experience....

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-06 1222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my case, first way is putting the earphones and listened to 'Faded'. It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace to me. According to my experience(?), in very loud place I can't listen to musics like classic. In the case of Faded, it is proper loud, but it brings me peace. I think this song makes me in the stopped time. I recommend this song to you when you want to in the stopped time in the loud place. Second way is thinking and feeling the happiest moment in your life. And close your eyes. When I do it, I think I'm in stopped time, too. In addition, I can raise self-esteem, and think me that I have lots of good memories. It is just based on my experience, so finding your own way is better thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework. Please take note of the corrections.


- Teacher Debbie

Homework:  How do you find peace and quiet in a loud area?

According to my experience(?), in very loud place I can't listen to musics like classic. 
>> In my experience, I couldn't listen loudly to music, like classical music, when I was in a noisy place.  

In my case, first way is putting the earphones and listened to 'Faded'. 
>> Therefore, when I'm in a loud place, first, I wear my earphones and listen to "Faded."

It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace to me.
>> It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace.

In the case of Faded, it is proper loud, but it brings me peace. 
>> It is quite loud, but it calms me.

I think this song makes me in the stopped time.
>> I think this song freezes time.

 I recommend this song to you when you want to in the stopped time in the loud place. 
>>  I recommend you listen to this song when you want to freeze time while in a loud place.

Second way is thinking and feeling the happiest moment in your life. And close your eyes. 
>> Second, I think about the happiest moment in my life and close my eyes.

When I do it, I think I'm in stopped time, too. 
>> When I do these, I think time stops, too.

In addition, I can raise self-esteem, and think me that I have lots of good memories.
>> In addition, I feel more confident whenever I think of lots of good memories.

It is just based on my experience, so finding your own way is better thing.
>> These are based on my experience, so finding your own way to find peace and quiet is better.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115084 Korea culture. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 343
115083 Buying ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115082 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 341
115081 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1339
115080 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 0
115079 What would you do with a magic wand if you had one? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115078 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 458
115077 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 166
115076 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 5519
115075 cooking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 332
115074 Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1517
115073 What\'s your comfort food? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 440
115072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115071 the most interesting city in my country ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 4
115070 Thousands of bank jobs lost to digitalization À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115068 rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 413
115067 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1443
115066 Do we have to support strong friends? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 220
115065 HOMEWORK: Describe the best holiday ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 418

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04