¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to my experience....

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-06 1304

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my case, first way is putting the earphones and listened to 'Faded'. It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace to me. According to my experience(?), in very loud place I can't listen to musics like classic. In the case of Faded, it is proper loud, but it brings me peace. I think this song makes me in the stopped time. I recommend this song to you when you want to in the stopped time in the loud place. Second way is thinking and feeling the happiest moment in your life. And close your eyes. When I do it, I think I'm in stopped time, too. In addition, I can raise self-esteem, and think me that I have lots of good memories. It is just based on my experience, so finding your own way is better thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework. Please take note of the corrections.


- Teacher Debbie

Homework:  How do you find peace and quiet in a loud area?

According to my experience(?), in very loud place I can't listen to musics like classic. 
>> In my experience, I couldn't listen loudly to music, like classical music, when I was in a noisy place.  

In my case, first way is putting the earphones and listened to 'Faded'. 
>> Therefore, when I'm in a loud place, first, I wear my earphones and listen to "Faded."

It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace to me.
>> It's one of the most famous pop songs, but it brings me peace.

In the case of Faded, it is proper loud, but it brings me peace. 
>> It is quite loud, but it calms me.

I think this song makes me in the stopped time.
>> I think this song freezes time.

 I recommend this song to you when you want to in the stopped time in the loud place. 
>>  I recommend you listen to this song when you want to freeze time while in a loud place.

Second way is thinking and feeling the happiest moment in your life. And close your eyes. 
>> Second, I think about the happiest moment in my life and close my eyes.

When I do it, I think I'm in stopped time, too. 
>> When I do these, I think time stops, too.

In addition, I can raise self-esteem, and think me that I have lots of good memories.
>> In addition, I feel more confident whenever I think of lots of good memories.

It is just based on my experience, so finding your own way is better thing.
>> These are based on my experience, so finding your own way to find peace and quiet is better.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114623 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 411
114622 Reply to your answer ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 394
114621 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114620 Homework {12/10} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 276
114619 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 202
114618 What are the best and worst things about the convenience store... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 273
114617 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 251
114616 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114615 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 364
114614 ¿µ¾îÀϱ⠹®¹ý ¿À·ù±³Á¤ ¹× ´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥ÇöÀ¸·Î ±³Á¤... ÇÏ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 8
114613 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114612 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 311
114611 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114610 What is a successful life? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 255
114609 Have you ever tried commuting in a foreign country? Write about... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 410
114608 12/9 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 237
114607 What do you like about the city you are living in? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 308
114606 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 200
114605 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 425
114604 my homework ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04