¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-06 786

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. When I was a child. My parents were very busy. They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. I am a father. I try to talk with my sun. I want to let he know, why person have to do study. I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing your honest answer about this essay question. 
It is true that kids receive more attention from their parents these days. 
Family time is very important and kids are guided better. 
I hope you're  having a great evening. ^^
See you again on our next class. 
Have a great weekend. 
~Teacher Charry

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. 
>> I think that these days children have a better childhood than in my generation.
It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. 
>> It's because parents know how important it is to spend time with their children.
When I was a child. My parents were very busy. 
>> When I was a child my parents were always very busy.
They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. 
>> They worked for 6 days a week and did chores on Sundays especially my mother. 
I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. 
>> I had no time to talk with my parents and none of them told me that I have to study hard. 
I am a father.
>> CORRECT!
I try to talk with my sun. 
>> I try to talk with my son.
I want to let he know, why person have to do study. 
>> I want to let him know why a person has to study hard. 
I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.
>> I will make sure that my children's childhood would be better than my childhood. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117101 Why do you think playing a musical instrument is good for you? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 485
117100 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 579
117099 Do you want to act in a film? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 755
117098 Do you prefer summer vacation or winter vacation? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 979
117097 Myself. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117096 Do you prefer summer vacations or winter vacations? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 779
117095 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1231
117094 My thoughts on what teenagers can do to contribute to society ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 786
117093 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 855
117092 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1202
117091 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1074
117090 lesson 10 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1407
117089 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117088 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 758
117087 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117086 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117085 Korea abandons vaccine pass mandate À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117084 ÀÛ¹®1-1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 7
117083 I can\'t believe still:( ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1082
117082 I want to go on a broadway! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 523

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04