¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-06 741

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. When I was a child. My parents were very busy. They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. I am a father. I try to talk with my sun. I want to let he know, why person have to do study. I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing your honest answer about this essay question. 
It is true that kids receive more attention from their parents these days. 
Family time is very important and kids are guided better. 
I hope you're  having a great evening. ^^
See you again on our next class. 
Have a great weekend. 
~Teacher Charry

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. 
>> I think that these days children have a better childhood than in my generation.
It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. 
>> It's because parents know how important it is to spend time with their children.
When I was a child. My parents were very busy. 
>> When I was a child my parents were always very busy.
They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. 
>> They worked for 6 days a week and did chores on Sundays especially my mother. 
I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. 
>> I had no time to talk with my parents and none of them told me that I have to study hard. 
I am a father.
>> CORRECT!
I try to talk with my sun. 
>> I try to talk with my son.
I want to let he know, why person have to do study. 
>> I want to let him know why a person has to study hard. 
I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.
>> I will make sure that my children's childhood would be better than my childhood. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116472 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 684
116471 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 556
116470 How to beat Monday Blues? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 647
116469 lesson 3 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 926
116468 homework.6 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 791
116467 What springs to your mind when you hear the word ice cream? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 906
116466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 1
116465 Make a sentence using the given word. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 795
116464 Do you believe that giving a gift to a special person is... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 2
116463 When was the last time you were invited? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 2
116462 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 915
116461 my major ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 968
116460 What\'s the most memorable vacation you\'ve had? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 929
116459 202z.2.15 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 680
116458 2022.2.14 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 843
116457 Do you think it\\\'s healthy to eat out often? Why or why not? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 987
116456 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 807
116455 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-16 742
116454 2/15 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 642
116453 How do you maintain your good health? / What do you think is the... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1001

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04