¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-06 493

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. When I was a child. My parents were very busy. They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. I am a father. I try to talk with my sun. I want to let he know, why person have to do study. I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing your honest answer about this essay question. 
It is true that kids receive more attention from their parents these days. 
Family time is very important and kids are guided better. 
I hope you're  having a great evening. ^^
See you again on our next class. 
Have a great weekend. 
~Teacher Charry

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. 
>> I think that these days children have a better childhood than in my generation.
It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. 
>> It's because parents know how important it is to spend time with their children.
When I was a child. My parents were very busy. 
>> When I was a child my parents were always very busy.
They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. 
>> They worked for 6 days a week and did chores on Sundays especially my mother. 
I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. 
>> I had no time to talk with my parents and none of them told me that I have to study hard. 
I am a father.
>> CORRECT!
I try to talk with my sun. 
>> I try to talk with my son.
I want to let he know, why person have to do study. 
>> I want to let him know why a person has to study hard. 
I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.
>> I will make sure that my children's childhood would be better than my childhood. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114760 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 192
114759 Water is vital to living things ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 222
114758 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 164
114757 Regrets for my life. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 167
114756 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 174
114755 the meaning of my birthday ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 380
114754 Report-3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 408
114753 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 145
114752 Report-2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 265
114751 Report-1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 588
114750 Homework {12/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 153
114749 Are you a competitive person? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 2
114748 What are the qualities of a good leader? A bad leader? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 229
114747 Next year resolution ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 171
114746 The educational system ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 3
114745 What do you eat when you feel sad? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 4941
114744 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 168
114743 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0
114742 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0
114741 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 204

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04