¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-06 504

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. When I was a child. My parents were very busy. They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. I am a father. I try to talk with my sun. I want to let he know, why person have to do study. I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing your honest answer about this essay question. 
It is true that kids receive more attention from their parents these days. 
Family time is very important and kids are guided better. 
I hope you're  having a great evening. ^^
See you again on our next class. 
Have a great weekend. 
~Teacher Charry

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. 
>> I think that these days children have a better childhood than in my generation.
It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. 
>> It's because parents know how important it is to spend time with their children.
When I was a child. My parents were very busy. 
>> When I was a child my parents were always very busy.
They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. 
>> They worked for 6 days a week and did chores on Sundays especially my mother. 
I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. 
>> I had no time to talk with my parents and none of them told me that I have to study hard. 
I am a father.
>> CORRECT!
I try to talk with my sun. 
>> I try to talk with my son.
I want to let he know, why person have to do study. 
>> I want to let him know why a person has to study hard. 
I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.
>> I will make sure that my children's childhood would be better than my childhood. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114637 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 157
114636 Homework ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 2
114635 What are three skills or traits you wish you had (that are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 159
114634 What are two habits you have that makes you productive at work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 149
114633 What makes you uncomfortable in the work setting? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 833
114632 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 1
114631 I Wold Rather Choose Me ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 826
114630 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 285
114629 IT was fun day!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 567
114628 The temple+(discussion of vaccine) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 165
114627 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 573
114626 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 156
114625 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 199
114624 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114623 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 311
114622 Reply to your answer ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 312
114621 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114620 Homework {12/10} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 139
114619 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 125
114618 What are the best and worst things about the convenience store... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 156

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04