¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-06 823

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. When I was a child. My parents were very busy. They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. I am a father. I try to talk with my sun. I want to let he know, why person have to do study. I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing your honest answer about this essay question. 
It is true that kids receive more attention from their parents these days. 
Family time is very important and kids are guided better. 
I hope you're  having a great evening. ^^
See you again on our next class. 
Have a great weekend. 
~Teacher Charry

I think that these days children have a better childhood than my generation. 
>> I think that these days children have a better childhood than in my generation.
It's because parents know that how important about spending time with their children. 
>> It's because parents know how important it is to spend time with their children.
When I was a child. My parents were very busy. 
>> When I was a child my parents were always very busy.
They had worked for 6 days, and they should do chores on Sunday, especially mother did it. 
>> They worked for 6 days a week and did chores on Sundays especially my mother. 
I had no time to talk with my parents, and nobody said to me that why do I study hard. 
>> I had no time to talk with my parents and none of them told me that I have to study hard. 
I am a father.
>> CORRECT!
I try to talk with my sun. 
>> I try to talk with my son.
I want to let he know, why person have to do study. 
>> I want to let him know why a person has to study hard. 
I am sure that my children's childhoods better than my childhood.
>> I will make sure that my children's childhood would be better than my childhood. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114567 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114566 How did COVID19 affect social gatherings in Korea? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 433
114565 How would life be without music? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 264
114564 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 371
114563 I don\'t want to meet people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 334
114562 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 469
114561 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1230
114560 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 370
114559 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 0
114558 expectation ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 359
114557 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 3
114556 essay about \"If you had travel machine, where would you go and... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 346
114555 Do you think that TV makes people lazy? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 293
114554 In your opinion, which season is the most beautiful? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 299
114553 What do you do if you forget an appointment? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 749
114552 How would you compare yourself now to the old you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 302
114551 Is this sentence grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 307
114550 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 436
114549 If you could use a magical spell, like a love spell, on... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114548 The bus station ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04