¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-07 844

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents. Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children. If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks. In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$. I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy. In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework.  However, you have to be more careful with sentence construction and word usage.

- Teacher Debbie


Homework: Do you think kids should be allowed by their parents to shop online without their supervision? Why or why not?


In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents.
>> In my opinion, children should be supervised by their parents.


Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children.
>> Because most of the children have poor judgement, parents can help their children when they shop.

If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks.
>> If they are left unsupervised, they might just buy any goods without a second thought.

In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$.
>> In addition, if children buy anything without their parents' supervision, they might end up buying products worth $100.

I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy.
>> I think it can affect how children see money.

In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.
>> In conclusion, I think parents should help their children when buying something to avoid overspending.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116022 Governmet to raise private gathering size limit to 6, keep 9 pm... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 0
116021 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 1
116020 When was the last time you achieved a goal? How did you feel? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 737
116019 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 968
116018 Which is better: to complain or not to complain? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 765
116017 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1010
116016 How do you feel and what happens to you when you don\'t get... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 432
116015 The first time that my father touched my shoulder ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 322
116014 Talk about your best memory from a holiday ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1
116013 What do you think is interesting about your culture? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 0
116012 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 646
116011 Essay (Jan 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 544
116010 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 542
116009 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 156
116008 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 309
116007 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 468
116006 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 357
116005 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 254
116004 What motivates you to keep working? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 638
116003 Is it important to have a goal? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 371

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04