¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-07 817

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents. Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children. If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks. In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$. I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy. In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework.  However, you have to be more careful with sentence construction and word usage.

- Teacher Debbie


Homework: Do you think kids should be allowed by their parents to shop online without their supervision? Why or why not?


In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents.
>> In my opinion, children should be supervised by their parents.


Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children.
>> Because most of the children have poor judgement, parents can help their children when they shop.

If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks.
>> If they are left unsupervised, they might just buy any goods without a second thought.

In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$.
>> In addition, if children buy anything without their parents' supervision, they might end up buying products worth $100.

I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy.
>> I think it can affect how children see money.

In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.
>> In conclusion, I think parents should help their children when buying something to avoid overspending.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115786 What kind of greeting do you like hearing most? Why? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 905
115785 What function of mobile phone do you want your phone to have ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 656
115784 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 729
115783 How are sports beneficial to you? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 0
115782 Is it necessary to do further education after high school these... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 567
115781 viking\'s characters À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115780 Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 483
115779 Writing Task: Do you spend a lot of time in bed when you\'re... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 931
115778 Where do you want to go while you still have days left for this... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1477
115777 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1258
115776 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115775 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1518
115774 There are two ways for relaxing ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1197
115773 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 948
115772 What do you think is your main purpose in life? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1111
115771 Money is most need thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 832
115770 Automatically read my mind ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1269
115769 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 0
115768 Essay (Jan 20th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 542
115767 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1679

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04