¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-07 788

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents. Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children. If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks. In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$. I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy. In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework.  However, you have to be more careful with sentence construction and word usage.

- Teacher Debbie


Homework: Do you think kids should be allowed by their parents to shop online without their supervision? Why or why not?


In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents.
>> In my opinion, children should be supervised by their parents.


Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children.
>> Because most of the children have poor judgement, parents can help their children when they shop.

If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks.
>> If they are left unsupervised, they might just buy any goods without a second thought.

In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$.
>> In addition, if children buy anything without their parents' supervision, they might end up buying products worth $100.

I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy.
>> I think it can affect how children see money.

In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.
>> In conclusion, I think parents should help their children when buying something to avoid overspending.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115581 homework2 ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 578
115580 Young people skip insurance amid low financial benefits, low... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115579 Food far better than pills as source of essential nutrients À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115578 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 4
115577 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115576 It is very good story for people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 306
115575 Learn instrument. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 641
115574 Famouse superstition ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 532
115573 About peace! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 158
115572 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 300
115571 Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 987
115570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 256
115569 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115568 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115567 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115566 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 426
115565 Some people think that enjoying the present is more important... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 300
115564 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 128
115563 Taking advantage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115562 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 141

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04