¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-07 838

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents. Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children. If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks. In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$. I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy. In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework.  However, you have to be more careful with sentence construction and word usage.

- Teacher Debbie


Homework: Do you think kids should be allowed by their parents to shop online without their supervision? Why or why not?


In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents.
>> In my opinion, children should be supervised by their parents.


Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children.
>> Because most of the children have poor judgement, parents can help their children when they shop.

If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks.
>> If they are left unsupervised, they might just buy any goods without a second thought.

In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$.
>> In addition, if children buy anything without their parents' supervision, they might end up buying products worth $100.

I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy.
>> I think it can affect how children see money.

In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.
>> In conclusion, I think parents should help their children when buying something to avoid overspending.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114324 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 163
114323 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 195
114322 What is good about renting something? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114321 who\'s the biggest art fan you know? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 8
114320 When are secrets a good thing? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 730
114319 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 107
114318 What I will buy gift in christmas to my family ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 115
114317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114316 Walking with family is the most important, and best out door... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 113
114315 What are the positive things about watching TV? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 155
114314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 169
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 199
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 357
114311 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 129
114310 I think it is Busan. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114309 My day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114308 What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 164
114307 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 127
114306 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114305 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04