¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-07 1079

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents. Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children. If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks. In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$. I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy. In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hi, Daniel! Thank you for answering your homework.  However, you have to be more careful with sentence construction and word usage.

- Teacher Debbie


Homework: Do you think kids should be allowed by their parents to shop online without their supervision? Why or why not?


In my opinion, children have to be allowed by their parents.
>> In my opinion, children should be supervised by their parents.


Because most of the children have slow and short judgement so parents help their children.
>> Because most of the children have poor judgement, parents can help their children when they shop.

If there is some goods that children want to buy, then the children who have short judgement may buy them without any thinks.
>> If they are left unsupervised, they might just buy any goods without a second thought.

In addition, if children can buy anything without any intervention of parents, they could buy something that even the price is 100$.
>> In addition, if children buy anything without their parents' supervision, they might end up buying products worth $100.

I think it can have a bad influence to children's sense of economy.
>> I think it can affect how children see money.

In conclusion, I think parents should help their children to buy something for proper price.
>> In conclusion, I think parents should help their children when buying something to avoid overspending.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115234 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3172
115233 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 214
115232 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115231 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 772
115230 Homework (1/4) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 5
115229 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115228 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115227 I want more job. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 387
115226 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115225 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3
115224 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 251
115223 home work(¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 628
115222 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 552
115221 HOMEWORK : What are the first things you want to accomplish this... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115220 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 237
115219 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 239
115218 Late rising. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115217 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 267
115216 What do you prioritize when you buy something (brand, price,... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 329
115215 Electricity price increase to deepen inflation concerns À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04