¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2022-01-07 968

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What kind of business do you want to set up?
-> I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice. They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere". But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious". So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
2. What are the dangers of having our own business?
-> Anxiety of future. Owner don't know today's customer and future customer. So they feel anxiety of future.

Today's diary.
I met my best friend E.S. We talked about our past life for 10 hours. Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time. Just talking all the time. Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home. It was so sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yu Bin. Good job with the homework. You have good writing skills and you can express yourself very well through writing. I hope the following corrections will help you become a better writer. Good luck! ~Jane c",)


1. What kind of business do you want to set up?

I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice.
>> I want to set up a restaurant because I think many young people don't go to the same cafe twice.

They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere".
>> They think, "Coffee flavors are the same everywhere."

But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious".
>> But if the meal is so tasty in a restaurant, they would think "Let's go to that restaurant again, it was so delicious."

So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
>> So if I put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.


2. What are the dangers of having our own business?

Anxiety of future.
>> There is anxiety about the future.

Owner don't know today's customer and future customer.
>> The owner does not know the preference of today's customers and future customers.

So they feel anxiety of future.
>> So they feel anxious about the future.


Today's diary.

I met my best friend E.S.
>> CORRECT =)

We talked about our past life for 10 hours.
>> We talked about what has been going on in our lives for 10 hours.

Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time.
>> Girl talk is so fun, we were not aware of the passage of time.

Just talking all the time.
>> We just talked all the time.

Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home.
>> Actually, I wanted to talk more but she had to go home.

It was so sad.
>> CORRECT =)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114294 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114293 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 175
114292 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1043
114291 What kind of advertising is offensive? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 202
114290 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114289 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114288 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 175
114287 Is honesty important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 245
114286 What effect does divorce have on children? Explain. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114285 What\'s the best thing about your grandparents? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114284 Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on the road. What... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 416
114283 What are the qualities a good cop should have? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1065
114282 Do humans have the right to hunt and kill animals? Why do you... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 153
114281 What is a good role model? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114280 What would you like to achieve in your life? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114279 Do you think it\'s better to buy a house than renting? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114278 How can you live a stress-free life? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 230
114277 Would you ever lie for a company? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 132
114276 What important thing would you like to change in your eating... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 209
114275 Wow it is wonderful! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 698

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04