¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2022-01-07 993

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What kind of business do you want to set up?
-> I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice. They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere". But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious". So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
2. What are the dangers of having our own business?
-> Anxiety of future. Owner don't know today's customer and future customer. So they feel anxiety of future.

Today's diary.
I met my best friend E.S. We talked about our past life for 10 hours. Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time. Just talking all the time. Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home. It was so sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yu Bin. Good job with the homework. You have good writing skills and you can express yourself very well through writing. I hope the following corrections will help you become a better writer. Good luck! ~Jane c",)


1. What kind of business do you want to set up?

I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice.
>> I want to set up a restaurant because I think many young people don't go to the same cafe twice.

They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere".
>> They think, "Coffee flavors are the same everywhere."

But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious".
>> But if the meal is so tasty in a restaurant, they would think "Let's go to that restaurant again, it was so delicious."

So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
>> So if I put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.


2. What are the dangers of having our own business?

Anxiety of future.
>> There is anxiety about the future.

Owner don't know today's customer and future customer.
>> The owner does not know the preference of today's customers and future customers.

So they feel anxiety of future.
>> So they feel anxious about the future.


Today's diary.

I met my best friend E.S.
>> CORRECT =)

We talked about our past life for 10 hours.
>> We talked about what has been going on in our lives for 10 hours.

Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time.
>> Girl talk is so fun, we were not aware of the passage of time.

Just talking all the time.
>> We just talked all the time.

Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home.
>> Actually, I wanted to talk more but she had to go home.

It was so sad.
>> CORRECT =)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113969 Grandparents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 199
113968 What will you do if you are in a desert? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113966 Should parents help their children plan their future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 182
113965 self introduction, reason of application È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 174
113964 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 717
113963 Seoul hospitals overwhelmed, but Korea committed to staying open À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113962 Why do you think BTS captures the hearts of billions of people? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113961 What makes you afraid? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1268
113960 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113959 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113958 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113957 cold war À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113956 What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 584
113955 Should parents ignore their kid\'s mistakes? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113954 How do you stay motivated in studies? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113953 11.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113952 Both countries can\'t be friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 581
113951 How would you act when you are in a job interview? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 0
113950 Waiting ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 550

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04