¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2022-01-07 1007

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What kind of business do you want to set up?
-> I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice. They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere". But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious". So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
2. What are the dangers of having our own business?
-> Anxiety of future. Owner don't know today's customer and future customer. So they feel anxiety of future.

Today's diary.
I met my best friend E.S. We talked about our past life for 10 hours. Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time. Just talking all the time. Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home. It was so sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yu Bin. Good job with the homework. You have good writing skills and you can express yourself very well through writing. I hope the following corrections will help you become a better writer. Good luck! ~Jane c",)


1. What kind of business do you want to set up?

I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice.
>> I want to set up a restaurant because I think many young people don't go to the same cafe twice.

They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere".
>> They think, "Coffee flavors are the same everywhere."

But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious".
>> But if the meal is so tasty in a restaurant, they would think "Let's go to that restaurant again, it was so delicious."

So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
>> So if I put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.


2. What are the dangers of having our own business?

Anxiety of future.
>> There is anxiety about the future.

Owner don't know today's customer and future customer.
>> The owner does not know the preference of today's customers and future customers.

So they feel anxiety of future.
>> So they feel anxious about the future.


Today's diary.

I met my best friend E.S.
>> CORRECT =)

We talked about our past life for 10 hours.
>> We talked about what has been going on in our lives for 10 hours.

Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time.
>> Girl talk is so fun, we were not aware of the passage of time.

Just talking all the time.
>> We just talked all the time.

Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home.
>> Actually, I wanted to talk more but she had to go home.

It was so sad.
>> CORRECT =)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113800 Why I disagree about boy got a long hair. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 173
113799 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 242
113798 homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 193
113797 Do you think people who are 12-17 years old should already get... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113796 1111 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113795 How would you describe your country¡¯s food? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 281
113794 Apology ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 249
113793 How do you feel about tourists who visit your country? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113792 Letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 194
113791 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 214
113790 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 1
113789 Do you like branded things? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 0
113788 why is the sky and the ocean blue explain in your own words. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 2
113787 Prevention is better than cure. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 246
113786 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 202
113785 12-17 years old children. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 209
113784 homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 140
113783 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 215
113782 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 2
113781 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-11 288

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04