¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2022-01-07 1270

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What kind of business do you want to set up?
-> I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice. They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere". But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious". So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
2. What are the dangers of having our own business?
-> Anxiety of future. Owner don't know today's customer and future customer. So they feel anxiety of future.

Today's diary.
I met my best friend E.S. We talked about our past life for 10 hours. Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time. Just talking all the time. Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home. It was so sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yu Bin. Good job with the homework. You have good writing skills and you can express yourself very well through writing. I hope the following corrections will help you become a better writer. Good luck! ~Jane c",)


1. What kind of business do you want to set up?

I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice.
>> I want to set up a restaurant because I think many young people don't go to the same cafe twice.

They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere".
>> They think, "Coffee flavors are the same everywhere."

But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious".
>> But if the meal is so tasty in a restaurant, they would think "Let's go to that restaurant again, it was so delicious."

So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
>> So if I put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.


2. What are the dangers of having our own business?

Anxiety of future.
>> There is anxiety about the future.

Owner don't know today's customer and future customer.
>> The owner does not know the preference of today's customers and future customers.

So they feel anxiety of future.
>> So they feel anxious about the future.


Today's diary.

I met my best friend E.S.
>> CORRECT =)

We talked about our past life for 10 hours.
>> We talked about what has been going on in our lives for 10 hours.

Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time.
>> Girl talk is so fun, we were not aware of the passage of time.

Just talking all the time.
>> We just talked all the time.

Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home.
>> Actually, I wanted to talk more but she had to go home.

It was so sad.
>> CORRECT =)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 759
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 392
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 382
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 756
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114384 Presentation script related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114383 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0
114382 Why ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 758
114381 Go out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 4
114380 How important is farming in your country? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114379 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 625
114378 Jane\'s Oral Presentation 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 332
114377 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 652
114376 What are the similarities/differences between collectors and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 277
114375 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114374 homework ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 309
114373 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114372 What is your biggest goal in life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 555
114371 Getting older ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 452

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04