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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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If you had grown up in a different city, how would your life have been different?

작성자: 변*원
2022-01-07 756

회원님의 영작문

well, i often thought about this issue. i grew up in the city with high education. in this town, we usually go to academy after school at age of 11. from that time, children don't have their free time. free time for having a question that we don't know, experiencing new things, having a date with girlfriend something like that, we usually encounter once, in the age of childhood or adolescent. because we get up at 7 am and go to school until 8, finish at 4 pm, and then we go to academy right after having dinner until 6. and it finish at 10, come back home at 11. that was me and my friends normal routine. and the older we are, the more stuff the schedule is.
anyway, it's a long story, in short, the city where i grew up guaranteed too uniformed? scheduled living life. the life only for having higher scores in study, higher high school, university.
but.. i think almost koreans, childrens in korea have no choice but to study hard. because intellectual resource is only resource that we

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

well, i often thought about this issue. 
>> Well, I often thought about this issue. 

i grew up in the city with high education. 
>> I grew up in a city with a good education system.

in this town, we usually go to academy after school at age of 11. 
>> In this town, we usually go to the academy after school at the age of 11. 

from that time, children don't have their free time.
>> During that time, children don't have much free time.

free time for having a question that we don't know, experiencing new things, having a date with girlfriend something like that, we usually encounter once, in the age of childhood or adolescent.
>> We didn't have much free time to know the things we want to know, to experience new things, and to date someone that we only experience once in our life which we call the adolescence stage.

because we get up at 7 am and go to school until 8, finish at 4 pm, and then we go to academy right after having dinner until 6. and it finish at 10, come back home at 11. 
>> We have to wake up at 7 am and be at school at 8 am. The school ends at 4 pm and after school, we will have dinner at 6 pm and go to the academy right after. The academy usually ends at 10 pm to 11 pm.

that was me and my friends normal routine. and the older we are, the more stuff the schedule is.
>> That was my and my friends' usual routine when we were younger. Our schedule was so tight.

anyway, it's a long story, in short, the city where i grew up guaranteed too uniformed? 
>> Anyway, it was a long story and the city where I grew up is likely uniform.

scheduled living life. 
>> It's a routine life.

the life only for having higher scores in study, higher high school, university.
>> It was a kind of life dedicated to studying and getting good scores at school and university.

but.. i think almost koreans, childrens in korea have no choice but to study hard. because intellectual resource is only resource that we
>> I think almost all young Koreans have no choice but to study hard because intellectual resource is the only kind of resource we can have.
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