¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do about homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-08 771

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. It can make a law. And basically, it should provide something to eat. Finally, it can make environment which they can work. If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. I hope the society which we can live together. To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. 
>> For homeless people who have valid reasons, the government should support them. 

It can make a law. 
>> They can make a law regarding this. 

And basically, it should provide something to eat. 
>> Basically, they should provide something for them to eat. 

Finally, it can make environment which they can work. 
>> Finally, they should make places where they can work. 

If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. 
>> If it's the best to do these things, clearly, they will be able to live in the society better. 

I hope the society which we can live together. 
>> I hope for a society which everyone can live together peacefully. 

To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together
>> To make dreams come true, people and the government should make efforts together.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115857 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 2
115856 What is your favorite movie? Why? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 216
115855 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 385
115854 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 360
115853 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115852 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 600
115851 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115850 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 413
115849 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 0
115848 ESSAY: Explain this quote: No Man Is An Island Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 273
115847 Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 242
115846 HOMEWORK ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 449
115845 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 145
115844 The upset ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115843 Discrimination ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 374
115842 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 479
115841 Why kids are not should be read news. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 323
115840 ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 984
115839 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Why or why not? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1
115838 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04