¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do about homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-08 974

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. It can make a law. And basically, it should provide something to eat. Finally, it can make environment which they can work. If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. I hope the society which we can live together. To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. 
>> For homeless people who have valid reasons, the government should support them. 

It can make a law. 
>> They can make a law regarding this. 

And basically, it should provide something to eat. 
>> Basically, they should provide something for them to eat. 

Finally, it can make environment which they can work. 
>> Finally, they should make places where they can work. 

If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. 
>> If it's the best to do these things, clearly, they will be able to live in the society better. 

I hope the society which we can live together. 
>> I hope for a society which everyone can live together peacefully. 

To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together
>> To make dreams come true, people and the government should make efforts together.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114734 12/14 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 490
114733 12/13 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 371
114732 Why was the microscope invented? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114731 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114730 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114729 gender sensitivity ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 381
114728 If you could choose one place to go this weekend, where would it... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114727 I have a question ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114726 Pandemic ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 345
114725 Please write your journal on the homework page. ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 352
114724 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 412
114723 what I do when my homework is difficult ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 655
114722 What does the paragraph mean? Share your answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 337
114721 Online ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 274
114720 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 307
114719 Bithday is special day:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 373
114718 I hope the pandemic ends soon. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 420
114717 Nap have to be moderate. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 333
114716 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 433
114715 Korean drama. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 264

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04