¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do about homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-08 992

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. It can make a law. And basically, it should provide something to eat. Finally, it can make environment which they can work. If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. I hope the society which we can live together. To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

About homeless people which have a reason, the government should support them. 
>> For homeless people who have valid reasons, the government should support them. 

It can make a law. 
>> They can make a law regarding this. 

And basically, it should provide something to eat. 
>> Basically, they should provide something for them to eat. 

Finally, it can make environment which they can work. 
>> Finally, they should make places where they can work. 

If  it does its best to do these, clearly, they will be able to live in the better society. 
>> If it's the best to do these things, clearly, they will be able to live in the society better. 

I hope the society which we can live together. 
>> I hope for a society which everyone can live together peacefully. 

To make dreams come true, people and government should make effort together
>> To make dreams come true, people and the government should make efforts together.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114472 How do you feel about making choices for other people? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114471 Am i afraid of getting older? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 526
114470 Believe God or not. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 415
114469 Where do you and your friends usually go to? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 298
114468 Gemma, hi! I can\'t decide on title. Haha ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 320
114467 Reply to Ben ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 518
114466 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 3
114465 Hoesik ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 491
114464 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114463 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114462 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 2
114461 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114460 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 650
114459 How do you greet your family and your friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114458 The kids should help small work. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114457 What is your goal for this coming year? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 4
114456 What\'s the food that you usually order in your favorite... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 6
114455 Why is it important to know the traffic rules when driving? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114454 hi, Jasmin ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114453 Essy2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04