¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homeless

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-09 1235

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
>>I don't have any idea about that topic. 

Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
>> Sometimes when I walk on the streets, I see homeless people often. 

And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
>> Since it is winter, I am very worries about them. 

Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
>> Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason why they are homeless. 

But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
>> But the government give help to homeless people using taxes which is not a good thing. 

I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job
>> I think it's almost not a good idea. But in my personal opinion, the government should help them find jobs. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114830 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114829 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114828 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114827 Is it easy for you to make friends? Why or why not? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 1
114826 Does education guarantee a good job? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 445
114825 For many Korean high school seniors, winter is the season for... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 1
114824 Do you keep plants inside your house? Why or why not? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 402
114823 Samsung\'s bespoken water purifier becomes first to remove... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114822 Mythology Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 312
114821 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 410
114820 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114819 How would you close a conversation if you were \"seeing someone... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 333
114818 Grapes gain in popularity thanks to new variety À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114817 What will be your New Year\'s Resolution this coming new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114816 Chocolate for Sadness and Emptiness ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 295
114815 Travel will be back in 2022 but in a different form, says... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0
114814 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 259
114813 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 207
114812 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 1
114811 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04