¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homeless

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-09 1360

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
>>I don't have any idea about that topic. 

Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
>> Sometimes when I walk on the streets, I see homeless people often. 

And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
>> Since it is winter, I am very worries about them. 

Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
>> Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason why they are homeless. 

But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
>> But the government give help to homeless people using taxes which is not a good thing. 

I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job
>> I think it's almost not a good idea. But in my personal opinion, the government should help them find jobs. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113306 Is American English better than any other English? Why? Answer... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 551
113305 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 910
113304 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 3
113303 What is the importance of being part of an organization? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113302 Tell me about your last vacation. ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 1
113301 HOMEWORK: What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 0
113300 My angry case ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 454
113299 What country in Asia would be a great place to live? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-27 2
113298 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 3
113297 English is confidence ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 406
113296 Korean Winter season ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 542
113295 Are you in favor of opening international flights for tourists... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 4
113294 Experiment is always exinting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 602
113293 Homework from the lesson 10262021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 577
113292 Does playing with dolls like Barbie negatively influence a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 566
113291 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1158
113290 Do you think health care should be free? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 628
113289 If I have a Time ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 809
113288 10.26 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 0
113287 Travel Lover Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 735

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04