¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

ESSAY: Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Àº
2022-01-10 319

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I agree to some extent that men are more competitive than women. In the past, the right of men was strong in order to protect their family and because the authority of men was high. Therefore, men naturally needed to be competitive with others. On the other hands, women didn't have chances to step up and their authority was low.
I think these perception is still fixed by now.
However, Nowadays, women's competitiveness is going up than men more and more.
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not depends on according to who cares more it

I hope to equally competitive men and women more and more. It is not who is the most competitive.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Luel! Thanks for doing your essay! Your opinion is appreciated! Keep on! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree to some extent that men are more competitive than women.
>>> CORRECT
 In the past, the right of men was strong in order to protect their family and  the authority of men was high. 
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, men naturally needed to be competitive with others.
>>> CORRECT
 On the other hand, women didn't have chances to step up and their authority was low.
>>> CORRECT
I think these perception is still fixed by now.
>>> I think these perception is still fixed now.
However, Nowadays, women's competitiveness is going up than men more and more.
>>> However, nowadays, women's competitiveness is going higher than men more and more.
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not depends on according to who cares more it.
>>> 
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not, it always depends on who cares more on it.
I hope to equally competitive men and women more and more. 
>>> I hope men and women will be equally competitive more and more. 
It is not who is the most competitive.
>>> Regardless of who the most competitive is.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115619 Should companies focus more on clean technology?. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 567
115618 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-16 1
115617 How do you handle pressure? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 133
115616 How do you try to relieve stress? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 154
115615 Are people always honest when they make excuses? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 0
115614 Why do you think family gatherings are important? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 3
115613 What is your birthday wish this year? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 396
115612 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 443
115611 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 562
115610 b Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115609 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 163
115608 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 178
115607 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 211
115606 What advice would you give someone who is very busy? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 335
115605 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115604 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115603 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 374
115602 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 564
115601 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115600 What makes a pleasant shopping experience? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 535

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04