¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

ESSAY: Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Àº
2022-01-10 570

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I agree to some extent that men are more competitive than women. In the past, the right of men was strong in order to protect their family and because the authority of men was high. Therefore, men naturally needed to be competitive with others. On the other hands, women didn't have chances to step up and their authority was low.
I think these perception is still fixed by now.
However, Nowadays, women's competitiveness is going up than men more and more.
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not depends on according to who cares more it

I hope to equally competitive men and women more and more. It is not who is the most competitive.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Luel! Thanks for doing your essay! Your opinion is appreciated! Keep on! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree to some extent that men are more competitive than women.
>>> CORRECT
 In the past, the right of men was strong in order to protect their family and  the authority of men was high. 
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, men naturally needed to be competitive with others.
>>> CORRECT
 On the other hand, women didn't have chances to step up and their authority was low.
>>> CORRECT
I think these perception is still fixed by now.
>>> I think these perception is still fixed now.
However, Nowadays, women's competitiveness is going up than men more and more.
>>> However, nowadays, women's competitiveness is going higher than men more and more.
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not depends on according to who cares more it.
>>> 
In conclusion, whether competitiveness is big or not, it always depends on who cares more on it.
I hope to equally competitive men and women more and more. 
>>> I hope men and women will be equally competitive more and more. 
It is not who is the most competitive.
>>> Regardless of who the most competitive is.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114289 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114288 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 361
114287 Is honesty important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 414
114286 What effect does divorce have on children? Explain. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114285 What\'s the best thing about your grandparents? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114284 Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on the road. What... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 555
114283 What are the qualities a good cop should have? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1202
114282 Do humans have the right to hunt and kill animals? Why do you... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 305
114281 What is a good role model? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114280 What would you like to achieve in your life? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114279 Do you think it\'s better to buy a house than renting? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114278 How can you live a stress-free life? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 347
114277 Would you ever lie for a company? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 446
114276 What important thing would you like to change in your eating... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 380
114275 Wow it is wonderful! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 865
114274 swimming at the beach ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 315
114273 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 466
114272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114271 Have you ever done a \"small\" crime before? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 4
114270 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 796

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04