¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will you pick and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-10 340

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I will pick Busan because in Busan, I can see the sea. I'm living in the small town which be surrounded by the mountains. So, I miss the sea. At the sea, I want to see various kinds of sea creatures like crab. Most of all, I want to see the landscape of peaceful sea. Due to these reasons,  I will pick Busan. / My second pick is Seoul because Seoul is South Korean capital. So, most of huge companies are located in Seoul. This means that I can see many buildings. I like observing many buildings. Due to these reasons, my second pick is Seoul.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly :) 

That's true! Seoul and Busan are terrific places to live in because they're  fun and convenient places. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

I will pick Busan because in Busan, I can see the sea. 
>> I will pick Busan because I can see the sea there. 

I'm living in the small town which be surrounded by the mountains. 
>> I'm living in a small town which is surrounded by mountains. 

So, I miss the sea. 
>> CORRECT

At the sea, I want to see various kinds of sea creatures like crab.
>> I want to see various kinds of sea creatures like crab by the sea. 

Most of all, I want to see the landscape of peaceful sea. 
>> Most of all, I want to see the landscapes of the peaceful sea. 

Due to these reasons,  I will pick Busan. 
>> Due to these reasons, I will pick Busan. 

My second pick is Seoul because Seoul is South Korean capital. 
>> My second pick is Seoul because it is the capital of South Korea. 

So, most of huge companies are located in Seoul.
 >> CORRECT

This means that I can see many buildings. 
>> CORRECT

I like observing many buildings. 
>> CORRECT

Due to these reasons, my second pick is Seoul.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115157 My homework~~^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 206
115156 I\'m doing my homework. ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 427
115155 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 429
115154 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 665
115153 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 214
115152 Over 1/3 households consist of just 1 person À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115151 I\'m doing my homework^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 167
115150 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115149 do you like meeting new people ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 179
115148 When do you prefer having a family? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115147 Floor heating system. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 248
115146 What kind of things would you need in order to survive in... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 1
115145 My comfort food ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 205
115144 Very simple ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 220
115143 Special holiday:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 212
115142 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115141 Can you sleep if there¡¯s a lot of noise going on? Have you ever... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115140 I will go to abroad ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 120
115139 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 2
115138 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 234

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04