¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical activities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-11 1607

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play. They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea. My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym. They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day. I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello, Steve!   You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Superb! Please take note of the corrections .


- Debbie


Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play.
>> 
Parents have to be wise when they are encouraging their kids to do physical activities because kids just want to play.

They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.
>> 
They don't want to do boring physical activities, although they can help build the children's bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea.
>> 
There are many interesting programs customized to help kids grow physically in Korea.

 My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day.
>> They seem happy when they go to the gym every day.

I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'
>> 
I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically. As the old saying goes, "A sound mind in a sound body."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115970 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115969 Is graffiti art? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 458
115968 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 929
115967 A stranger ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115966 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115965 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115964 hi °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 825
115963 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1020
115962 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 513
115961 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115960 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 680
115959 Live with someone ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 790
115958 Homework (1/26) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115957 What¡¯s the most memorable weekend have you had in the past... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 3
115956 Would you describe yourself as a workaholic? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115955 What do you know about the history of heath care in your country? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115954 homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 487
115953 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2
115952 What exotic food would you like to try? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115951 Is there a difference in friendship between your male friends... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04