¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical activities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-11 1579

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play. They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea. My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym. They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day. I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello, Steve!   You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Superb! Please take note of the corrections .


- Debbie


Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play.
>> 
Parents have to be wise when they are encouraging their kids to do physical activities because kids just want to play.

They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.
>> 
They don't want to do boring physical activities, although they can help build the children's bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea.
>> 
There are many interesting programs customized to help kids grow physically in Korea.

 My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day.
>> They seem happy when they go to the gym every day.

I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'
>> 
I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically. As the old saying goes, "A sound mind in a sound body."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115659 I love my life ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 679
115658 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 175
115657 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115656 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 563
115655 Responsibility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115654 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 176
115653 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 353
115652 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115651 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 201
115650 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115649 Should the family divide the chores at home? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115648 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115647 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 338
115646 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 399
115645 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 145
115644 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 183
115643 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 162
115642 Do you think that there is truth behind superstitions? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 917
115641 What special features do you think should be added to computers? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115640 Do you like dining at famous restaurants with long queues? Why... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04