¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical activities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-11 1570

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play. They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea. My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym. They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day. I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello, Steve!   You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Superb! Please take note of the corrections .


- Debbie


Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play.
>> 
Parents have to be wise when they are encouraging their kids to do physical activities because kids just want to play.

They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.
>> 
They don't want to do boring physical activities, although they can help build the children's bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea.
>> 
There are many interesting programs customized to help kids grow physically in Korea.

 My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day.
>> They seem happy when they go to the gym every day.

I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'
>> 
I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically. As the old saying goes, "A sound mind in a sound body."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114870 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114869 What was your dream job when you were young? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 5
114868 miss ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 151
114867 What do you think should the government of South Korea do with... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 84
114866 homework. Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 106
114865 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114864 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 599
114863 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 90
114862 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 146
114861 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 451
114860 Homework Ȳ*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 129
114859 Goverment¡¯s Action ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 143
114858 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114857 What is my favorite computer game ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 111
114856 What do you like watching with your family and friends? Tell me... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 112
114855 What is mannerism? Do you have mannerisms that you wanted to get... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1230
114854 fruits ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 188
114853 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114852 stress ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1082
114851 What\'s the best thing about having a family? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04