¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I can live other city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-11 881

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
It's my father's work place.
So my parents live there now.
Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
My older brother can not come back to home early time.
And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
Everyday I miss my parents.
That's why I pick the Samchuck.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Great pick! You will enjoy there for sure. Plus, you would have more time with your parents. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
>> If I can live other city in South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo, Samchuck.

It's my father's work place.
>> CORRECT

So my parents live there now.
 >> CORRECT

Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
>> CORRECT

My older brother can not come back to home early time.
>>My older brother doesn't come home at an early time. 

And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
>> I usually sleep first before my brother comes home. 

Everyday I miss my parents.
>> I miss my parents everyday. 

That's why I pick the Samchuck.
>> That's why I pick Samchuck.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115180 My favorite things ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115179 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 571
115178 Chrismas ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 235
115177 Why soda is not good for health ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 267
115176 Why I don\'t want to get outside with barefoot ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 631
115175 Some people say that young people should be free to choose the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 311
115174 What is the most challenging about moving to a new place? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 353
115173 What are you looking forward to this coming year 2022? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 291
115172 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 328
115171 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 298
115170 It\'s feel so wierd :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 584
115169 new years ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115168 awkward feeling ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 639
115167 What factors influence your choice of job? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 416
115166 Is there any kind of meat you would not eat? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115165 Do you like working with the public? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 268
115164 What do you like to do for fun? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 654
115163 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 381
115162 Does art imitate life? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 1
115161 Why do you think people started living in cities? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 235

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04