¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I can live other city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-11 953

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
It's my father's work place.
So my parents live there now.
Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
My older brother can not come back to home early time.
And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
Everyday I miss my parents.
That's why I pick the Samchuck.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Great pick! You will enjoy there for sure. Plus, you would have more time with your parents. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
>> If I can live other city in South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo, Samchuck.

It's my father's work place.
>> CORRECT

So my parents live there now.
 >> CORRECT

Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
>> CORRECT

My older brother can not come back to home early time.
>>My older brother doesn't come home at an early time. 

And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
>> I usually sleep first before my brother comes home. 

Everyday I miss my parents.
>> I miss my parents everyday. 

That's why I pick the Samchuck.
>> That's why I pick Samchuck.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114651 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 2
114650 What advertisements are popular these days? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 3
114649 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 2
114648 Do first impressions really last for you? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 351
114647 What is your biggest regret and why? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 574
114646 List five words that describe your characteristics. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 355
114645 Is obesity a disease? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 1325
114644 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 1
114643 Moon faces dilemma over Beiging Olympics À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 1
114642 From Spider-Man to Matrix 4 big movies gearing up for cinema... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 0
114641 What are some good and bad eating habits? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 1
114640 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 743
114639 Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 0
114638 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 0
114637 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 528
114636 Homework ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 2
114635 What are three skills or traits you wish you had (that are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 459
114634 What are two habits you have that makes you productive at work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 382
114633 What makes you uncomfortable in the work setting? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 1035
114632 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04