¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I can live other city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-11 1049

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
It's my father's work place.
So my parents live there now.
Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
My older brother can not come back to home early time.
And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
Everyday I miss my parents.
That's why I pick the Samchuck.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Great pick! You will enjoy there for sure. Plus, you would have more time with your parents. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
>> If I can live other city in South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo, Samchuck.

It's my father's work place.
>> CORRECT

So my parents live there now.
 >> CORRECT

Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
>> CORRECT

My older brother can not come back to home early time.
>>My older brother doesn't come home at an early time. 

And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
>> I usually sleep first before my brother comes home. 

Everyday I miss my parents.
>> I miss my parents everyday. 

That's why I pick the Samchuck.
>> That's why I pick Samchuck.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114422 Folk Story About Moon Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 363
114421 What is your happiest moment? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 528
114420 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 374
114419 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 418
114418 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 391
114417 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 620
114416 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 717
114415 What will you do on your next vacation? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 2
114414 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 2
114413 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 3
114412 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114411 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 680
114410 One-fifth of Seoul youths experienced digital sex crime risks À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114409 WHO Initial evidence suggests increased risk of reinfection due... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114408 the pros and cons about eating a home ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 469
114407 How has technology changed your life? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 584
114406 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114405 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 606
114404 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 326
114403 Do you believe in \"good luck\" charms? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04