¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you give money to homeless people? Do you think people should give money to homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-11 546

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't give money to homeless people. It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. We should make a plan for homeless people. If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! 
Your essay today is impressive. You've created a lot of good sentences and I'm really happy about it. 
Keep it up!
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I don't give money to homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. 
>> If they need a temporary shelter, they can go to those places. 
Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. 
>> CORRECT!
In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. 
>> In my opinion, starting a fund raising program is better than giving money. 
After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. 
>> After establishing a fund raising program, people can donate in it. 
We should make a plan for homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115200 my introduce ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 4
115199 About Han river park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 364
115198 What can you get from listening to the radio? Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 283
115197 Who is your favorite cartoon character? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 267
115196 What new thing would you like to try this year? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 287
115195 I received my christmas present!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 203
115194 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 428
115193 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115192 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 227
115191 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 365
115190 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 375
115189 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115188 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115187 What is a good friend? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 230
115186 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 316
115185 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115184 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115183 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 731
115182 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115181 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04