¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you give money to homeless people? Do you think people should give money to homeless people?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-11 631

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't give money to homeless people. It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. We should make a plan for homeless people. If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! 
Your essay today is impressive. You've created a lot of good sentences and I'm really happy about it. 
Keep it up!
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I don't give money to homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
It's because there are places for homeless people in Korea. 
>> CORRECT!
If they want to go to the places to stay some days, they can go. 
>> If they need a temporary shelter, they can go to those places. 
Even If I give money to homeless people, the money won't be a good solution for them. 
>> CORRECT!
In my opinion, making a fund is better than giving money. 
>> In my opinion, starting a fund raising program is better than giving money. 
After establishing the fund, people can donate to the fund. 
>> After establishing a fund raising program, people can donate in it. 
We should make a plan for homeless people. 
>> CORRECT!
If I give money to homeless people, the money will help homeless people to stay on the street.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114284 Not all drivers obey the laws while driving on the road. What... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 601
114283 What are the qualities a good cop should have? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1240
114282 Do humans have the right to hunt and kill animals? Why do you... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 352
114281 What is a good role model? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114280 What would you like to achieve in your life? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114279 Do you think it\'s better to buy a house than renting? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114278 How can you live a stress-free life? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 386
114277 Would you ever lie for a company? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 483
114276 What important thing would you like to change in your eating... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 445
114275 Wow it is wonderful! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 927
114274 swimming at the beach ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 360
114273 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 520
114272 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 1
114271 Have you ever done a \"small\" crime before? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 4
114270 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 851
114269 Why can learning a language be sometimes difficult? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 317
114268 Alcohol ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 351
114267 China and freedom. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 387
114266 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 921
114265 On what occasions do you give flowers in your country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-29 534

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04