¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2022.1.12

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*
2022-01-13 450

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Kindly answer the following in essay form.
Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important? Why or why not?

Answer: It's important. Because my talent is increase.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:) 

This is true. Learning how to play an instrument can enhance your skills. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

It's important. Because my talent is increase.
>> It think it is important because it can enhance my talent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114627 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 627
114626 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 214
114625 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 314
114624 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114623 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 388
114622 Reply to your answer ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 377
114621 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114620 Homework {12/10} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 251
114619 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 176
114618 What are the best and worst things about the convenience store... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 251
114617 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 225
114616 If you could stop time, what would you do and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114615 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 318
114614 ¿µ¾îÀϱ⠹®¹ý ¿À·ù±³Á¤ ¹× ´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥ÇöÀ¸·Î ±³Á¤... ÇÏ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 8
114613 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114612 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 286
114611 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 0
114610 What is a successful life? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 204
114609 Have you ever tried commuting in a foreign country? Write about... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 406
114608 12/9 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 236

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04