¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-13 1036

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. Poor nations want to become rich nations. While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay. 
I agree that wealthy nations should share a part of their wealth to very poor nations. 
However, I don't think that alone would end the problem on poverty. 
I think wealthier nations should share to poorer nations their economic strategies on how to become rich.
If the poorer nations have the means to do it, it is guaranteed that they would also become rich and won't need to receive financial assistance from richer countries. 
Anyhow, that's just my opinion about it. 
I hope you're doing great. See you again tomorrow. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. 
>> CORRECT!
Poor nations want to become rich nations. 
>> CORRECT!
While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. 
>> While they are trying to make money, their natural resources will be depleted and their environment gets destroyed.
For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. 
>> For example, many experts said that the Amazon is the lung of the Earth but Brazilians destroys the forest to expand their industrial areas. 
To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. 
>> Preserving the Amazon is vital for all creatures on Earth.  
If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.
>> If wealthy nations share their wealth to Brazil, Brazilians don't need to destroy the Amazon forest to develop their country.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116371 Figure skater You Young shrugs off Russian\'s reported doping,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116370 Voice, music ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 450
116369 Really mean peolpe they don\'t know what is falts ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 660
116368 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 460
116367 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116366 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1
116365 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 614
116364 How do you feel about making mistakes? Do you worry about it? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 654
116363 The ocean À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 1
116362 next from 14th È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 13
116361 next from 14th È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 4
116360 scholarship application È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 14
116359 What is the best part of your day? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 2
116358 2022.2. 1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 886
116357 2022.2.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 669
116356 Eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 2
116355 What is your favorite weekend activity? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 466
116354 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 338
116353 Writing Task (Feb 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 485
116352 homework.3 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 451

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04