¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-13 1006

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. Poor nations want to become rich nations. While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay. 
I agree that wealthy nations should share a part of their wealth to very poor nations. 
However, I don't think that alone would end the problem on poverty. 
I think wealthier nations should share to poorer nations their economic strategies on how to become rich.
If the poorer nations have the means to do it, it is guaranteed that they would also become rich and won't need to receive financial assistance from richer countries. 
Anyhow, that's just my opinion about it. 
I hope you're doing great. See you again tomorrow. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. 
>> CORRECT!
Poor nations want to become rich nations. 
>> CORRECT!
While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. 
>> While they are trying to make money, their natural resources will be depleted and their environment gets destroyed.
For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. 
>> For example, many experts said that the Amazon is the lung of the Earth but Brazilians destroys the forest to expand their industrial areas. 
To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. 
>> Preserving the Amazon is vital for all creatures on Earth.  
If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.
>> If wealthy nations share their wealth to Brazil, Brazilians don't need to destroy the Amazon forest to develop their country.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115079 What would you do with a magic wand if you had one? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115078 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 411
115077 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 101
115076 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 5441
115075 cooking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 249
115074 Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1416
115073 What\'s your comfort food? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 349
115072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115071 the most interesting city in my country ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 4
115070 Thousands of bank jobs lost to digitalization À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115068 rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 371
115067 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1374
115066 Do we have to support strong friends? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 197
115065 HOMEWORK: Describe the best holiday ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 377
115064 What animal best represents you? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 121
115063 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 177
115062 What job would you never want to try? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115061 What is your favorite time of the year? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0
115060 My thinking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04