¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-13 1242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. Poor nations want to become rich nations. While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay. 
I agree that wealthy nations should share a part of their wealth to very poor nations. 
However, I don't think that alone would end the problem on poverty. 
I think wealthier nations should share to poorer nations their economic strategies on how to become rich.
If the poorer nations have the means to do it, it is guaranteed that they would also become rich and won't need to receive financial assistance from richer countries. 
Anyhow, that's just my opinion about it. 
I hope you're doing great. See you again tomorrow. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. 
>> CORRECT!
Poor nations want to become rich nations. 
>> CORRECT!
While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. 
>> While they are trying to make money, their natural resources will be depleted and their environment gets destroyed.
For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. 
>> For example, many experts said that the Amazon is the lung of the Earth but Brazilians destroys the forest to expand their industrial areas. 
To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. 
>> Preserving the Amazon is vital for all creatures on Earth.  
If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.
>> If wealthy nations share their wealth to Brazil, Brazilians don't need to destroy the Amazon forest to develop their country.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114370 Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work... Á¤*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114369 What would be the responsibilities of mother? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 420
114368 Dentist! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 814
114367 What is the most beautiful sight you have ever seen before?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 302
114366 Do you prefer Burger king or McDonald\'s why? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 6
114365 Would you rather be rich or famous? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114364 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 496
114363 I can do it!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 282
114362 How would you describe a very relaxing vacation? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 460
114361 What do you do during your company meetings? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 3
114360 Birth day is my special day. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 883
114359 What is your favorite place in your city and why? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 394
114358 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 260
114357 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 340
114356 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 633
114355 if i can change my personality ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 349
114354 break my day routine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114353 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 546
114352 How can you live a stress-free life? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1114
114351 The best present for my parents ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 380

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04