¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-14 474

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can travel back in time, I wanna go to the lands which are really expensive now.
Before, the price was lower than now so I can buy many things cheaper in the past.
I can buy something that I wanted cheaper than now, and the lands too.
So if I buy some lands near by the cities or the lands which are expensive now, I can have a lot of profits.
And also real estate is one of the most easy ways to earn mush money, so it will be great.
Of course I will use those money for me, but also I will use them for other people.
And if I get a chance, I wanna found my own company.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Smart choice! You can get ahead with that idea. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can travel back in time, I wanna go to the lands which are really expensive now.
>> CORRECT

Before, the price was lower than now so I can buy many things cheaper in the past.
>> 
Before, the prices were lower than now so I can buy many things cheaper in the past.

I can buy something that I wanted cheaper than now, and the lands too.
>> 
I can buy things and lands at a cheaper price. 

So if I buy some lands near by the cities or the lands which are expensive now, I can have a lot of profits.
>> So if I buy some lands near by the cities or lands that are expensive now, I can have a lot of profit. 

And also real estate is one of the most easy ways to earn mush money, so it will be great.
>> Also, real estate is one of the most easiest way to earn money so it will be great. 

Of course I will use those money for me, but also I will use them for other people.
>> Of course I will use those money for myself, but I will also use it for other people. 

And if I get a chance, I wanna found my own company.
>> And if I get a chance, I want to build my own company. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114323 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 220
114322 What is good about renting something? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114321 who\'s the biggest art fan you know? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 8
114320 When are secrets a good thing? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 776
114319 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 132
114318 What I will buy gift in christmas to my family ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 212
114317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114316 Walking with family is the most important, and best out door... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 181
114315 What are the positive things about watching TV? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 255
114314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 210
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 245
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 400
114311 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 237
114310 I think it is Busan. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114309 My day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114308 What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 244
114307 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 196
114306 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114305 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114304 My promise ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04