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Are simple joys as valuable as complex experiences?

작성자: 김*환
2022-01-16 353

회원님의 영작문

I think that, simple joys are as valuable as complex experiences. When I was younger than now, doing complex experiences needed small mount of money. That time, I didn't know that how much other people spend for having complex experiences. I had been satisfied on my experiences. But now, I know how much other people spend money for their experiences. If I try to experience as much as other people do, I need lots of money. So, I don't go camping, I never buy a low grade of Mac book. If then, what makes me happy? I try to make simple joys. For example, trying to find tasty coffee beans. I found out a web site about coffee. I have bought various countries's coffee beans. It is my simple joys. It doesn't need small a lot of money.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Hwanny! :)
Thank you for answering this question. 
It is true that simple joys are as important as the complex ones. Most people think that in order to be happy, you have to have money all the time. 
Although I agree that money is essential, there are some things that money can't buy. 
Anyhow, I hope you're having a great afternoon. 
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I think that, simple joys are as valuable as complex experiences. 
>> CORRECT!
When I was younger than now, doing complex experiences needed small mount of money. 
>> When I was younger, doing complex experiences needed a small mount of money.
That time, I didn't know that how much other people spend for having complex experiences. 
>> [DO YOU MEAN]: That time, I didn't know that other people spent that much to have those complex experiences.
I had been satisfied on my experiences. 
>> I was satisfied of my experiences. 
But now, I know how much other people spend money for their experiences. 
>> But now I know how much other people spend for their experiences. 
If I try to experience as much as other people do, I need lots of money. 
>> If I would try to experience as much as other people do, I would need lots of money.
So, I don't go camping, I never buy a low grade of Mac book. 
>> So, I don't go camping and I never buy a low grade Mac book.
If then, what makes me happy? 
>> If so, then what makes me happy?
I try to make simple joys. 
>> CORRECT!
For example, trying to find tasty coffee beans. 
>> For example, I try to find tasty coffee beans.
I found out a web site about coffee. 
>> I found  a website about coffee.
I have bought various countries's coffee beans. 
>> I have bought various countries' coffee beans from that website. 
It is my simple joys. 
>> It is my simple joy.
It doesn't need small a lot of money.
>> It doesn't need a lot of money. 
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