¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-18 1115

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Yes, a lot of people have troubles using computers especially the elderly people. It would be very beneficial if we make it easier for them to use. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
>> CORRECT

Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
>> Instead, I think we have to make computers more comfortable to use and easier to learn.

In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
>> CORRECT

They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
>> They are hard to find and hard to use.

Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
>> Even though they are really useful functions, people won't be able to use them because they don't know how to. 

So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
>> So we need to design or make  computers easier to handle the functions. 

Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
>> Also, it is very helpful to learn how to program and use these functions.

So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.
>> So I think, we have to make computers easier to use. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116446 I will make my mother\'s own Bibimbap ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 568
116445 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 417
116444 where and what do you want to eat today? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116443 Are you a healthy person? How often do you get sick? What are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 737
116442 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 721
116441 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 3
116440 cafes~~ ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116439 Who do you usually ask for help? / What kind of help do you need... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 580
116438 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 519
116437 Govt. considering requiring at-home COVID-19 tests for young... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 1
116436 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 655
116435 Make a sentence using the given word. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 459
116434 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 464
116433 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 354
116432 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 248
116431 Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 545
116430 Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 0
116429 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 0
116428 My cooking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 4
116427 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 703

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04