¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-18 1096

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Yes, a lot of people have troubles using computers especially the elderly people. It would be very beneficial if we make it easier for them to use. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
>> CORRECT

Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
>> Instead, I think we have to make computers more comfortable to use and easier to learn.

In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
>> CORRECT

They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
>> They are hard to find and hard to use.

Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
>> Even though they are really useful functions, people won't be able to use them because they don't know how to. 

So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
>> So we need to design or make  computers easier to handle the functions. 

Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
>> Also, it is very helpful to learn how to program and use these functions.

So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.
>> So I think, we have to make computers easier to use. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115581 homework2 ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 587
115580 Young people skip insurance amid low financial benefits, low... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115579 Food far better than pills as source of essential nutrients À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115578 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 4
115577 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115576 It is very good story for people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 318
115575 Learn instrument. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 676
115574 Famouse superstition ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 550
115573 About peace! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 192
115572 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 311
115571 Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1030
115570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 258
115569 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115568 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115567 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115566 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 457
115565 Some people think that enjoying the present is more important... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 303
115564 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 135
115563 Taking advantage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115562 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 143

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04