¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-01-18 567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Kindly answer the following in essay form.
What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

I think you have the best answer for this question. Those are very innovative ideas! They can be really helpful for us.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. 
>> I think computers need fingerprint recognition functions. 

There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
>> CORRECT

Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. 
>> Nowadays, verifying identification is mostly operated for messages. 

It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. 
>> It takes a long time and is weak for hackers. 

So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.
>> So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can have a safer and faster verification process. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115909 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115908 Are men better drivers than women? Why do you say so? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 391
115907 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 616
115906 helping endangered animals. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115905 Tell me about your favorite actor. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115904 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 801
115903 01.25: homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 0
115902 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most when you were... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 522
115901 South Korea not mulling lifting import ban on Japanese seafood... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115900 Beijng olympics ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115899 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most when you were... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 964
115898 If you had to lose one of your senses(sight, smell, hearing,... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 434
115897 Because of people\'s greed ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 221
115896 Can you name three jobs you can be good at? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 360
115895 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 745
115894 Household chores ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1014
115893 Can money buy happiness? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 645
115892 What is the worst age to be and why? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 432
115891 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 869
115890 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04