¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-01-18 876

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Kindly answer the following in essay form.
What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

I think you have the best answer for this question. Those are very innovative ideas! They can be really helpful for us.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. 
>> I think computers need fingerprint recognition functions. 

There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
>> CORRECT

Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. 
>> Nowadays, verifying identification is mostly operated for messages. 

It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. 
>> It takes a long time and is weak for hackers. 

So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.
>> So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can have a safer and faster verification process. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116821 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 1216
116820 I don\\\'t want to change my field of specialization. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 992
116819 Do you think that meeting people online is easier than meeting... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 4
116818 Why do you study English? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 0
116817 Essay (Feb 24th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 754
116816 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 875
116815 Writing Task (Feb 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 745
116814 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 635
116813 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 662
116812 When was the last time you visited a doctor? Why did you visit... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 715
116811 2022.2.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 746
116810 The things that have fruit smells Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 551
116809 What do you like most about family gatherings? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 704
116808 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 828
116807 What important thing do you bring when you travel? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 1
116806 What should we do to stay safe these days? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116805 2/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1342
116804 at the gym. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116803 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116802 In which jobs do people have to make very quick decisions based... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 810

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04