¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-01-18 780

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Kindly answer the following in essay form.
What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

I think you have the best answer for this question. Those are very innovative ideas! They can be really helpful for us.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think the computer needs fingerprint recognition function. 
>> I think computers need fingerprint recognition functions. 

There are many requirements to verify user's identification on the internet.
>> CORRECT

Nowadays verifying identification is mostly operated messages. 
>> Nowadays, verifying identification is mostly operated for messages. 

It takes a long time and is weak for hacking. 
>> It takes a long time and is weak for hackers. 

So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can feel faster and safer in certification process.
>> So if we can verify our identification through fingerprint recognition function, we can have a safer and faster verification process. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115541 Time for Book ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 339
115540 2022.1.12 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 518
115539 2022.1.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 563
115538 Tell something about Jinju. ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1044
115537 What are the advantages of technology? Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 382
115536 Can you give me one superstition in South Korea? Explain in... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 334
115535 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1119
115534 What advice would you give someone who is very busy? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1525
115533 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1014
115532 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 630
115531 What are you think about advantages of technology? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1373
115530 Comfort food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115529 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 360
115528 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115527 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 402
115526 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 515
115525 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 674
115524 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115523 Do you make an effort to buy locally produced goods? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 420
115522 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04