¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you would be happier?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: º¯*¿ø
2022-01-19 410

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
At one moment, I realized something goes wrong. I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
So I am still hungry for money. But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
(My definition of happiness is the time with my family whoi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
>> When I was in my early 20s, I struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I got nothing but stress.

At one moment, I realized something is wrong. 

I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 
>> I was enlightened that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 

And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. 
>> CORRECT!

And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
>> CORRECT!

I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. 
>> I felt poor when I was a student without allowance. 

And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
>> And the brokenness continued until my 20's because my father's business was not a success.

So I am still hungry for money. 
>> CORRECT!

But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 
>> But now I know that having enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 

On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
>> On the contrary, becoming rich makes someone nervous, unstable, and dissatisfied with life.

Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
>> Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my life and I want to know what it feels like. :)

(My definition of happiness is the time with my family who
>> My definition of happiness is spending time with my family.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116730 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 980
116729 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1031
116728 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 969
116727 Most People Keep their New Year\'s Resolution À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116726 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 866
116725 If you could choose an activity which you and your family could... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116724 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116723 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Explain your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116722 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1008
116721 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 6
116720 DO you have too many things in your home? Does it feel cluttered... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 4
116719 lesson 5/ 6 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 933
116718 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 622
116717 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 608
116716 I will go to Sobaeksan Recreational Forest. So I will be absent... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 466
116715 Avoid watching news is the way to lose our stress. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 921
116714 Try to define the given expression, using your own words. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 804
116713 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1174
116712 Choose the correct plural. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 685
116711 2022.2.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 628

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04