¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you would be happier?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: º¯*¿ø
2022-01-19 386

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
At one moment, I realized something goes wrong. I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
So I am still hungry for money. But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
(My definition of happiness is the time with my family whoi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
>> When I was in my early 20s, I struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I got nothing but stress.

At one moment, I realized something is wrong. 

I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 
>> I was enlightened that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 

And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. 
>> CORRECT!

And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
>> CORRECT!

I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. 
>> I felt poor when I was a student without allowance. 

And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
>> And the brokenness continued until my 20's because my father's business was not a success.

So I am still hungry for money. 
>> CORRECT!

But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 
>> But now I know that having enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 

On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
>> On the contrary, becoming rich makes someone nervous, unstable, and dissatisfied with life.

Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
>> Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my life and I want to know what it feels like. :)

(My definition of happiness is the time with my family who
>> My definition of happiness is spending time with my family.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116551 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 712
116550 Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 637
116549 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 516
116548 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 1084
116547 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-18 624
116546 2/17 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 676
116545 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116544 They say exercise helps improve mood. How? Write at least 5... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 710
116543 Chemical firms on high alert for toughened safety law À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116542 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 577
116541 89-year-old graduates college with highest honors À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116540 I think I\'m going to work ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 626
116539 Stocks:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 656
116538 use of the phone ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 862
116537 Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 404
116536 Do you exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 3
116535 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 352
116534 What do you think about voting? Is it a good way to make... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 915
116533 Does your family have a movie night? Tell me about it. ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 739
116532 29.30.31 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 837

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04