¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think of renting clothes and toys?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-19 745

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I see many shops renting toys and clothes nowadays. I also see many public facilities lending toys for nothing for some period.
Renting clothes and toys benefit both customers and shop owners. For customer, they can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. There are also lots of expensive toys to rent. For shop owners, they can make a profit from their stock by renting them out.

As the sharing economy is getting more and more popular, making money by renting goods out is going to become common among businesses. Sharing goods is also good for our environment. No more virtue to produce and dump goods for capitalism because It is time to think about our environment for our generation and next generation to come.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steve! You were able to use good expressions in your work. Awesome!


- Debbie

I see many shops renting toys and clothes nowadays. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I also see many public facilities lending toys for nothing for some period.
>> I also see many public facilities lending toys for free for some period.

Renting clothes and toys benefit both customers and shop owners.
>> Renting clothes and toys benefits both customers and shop owners.

For customer, they can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. 
>> Customers can use as many toys as they want at a reasonable price. 

There are also lots of expensive toys to rent.
>> This is a good sentence.

 For shop owners, they can make a profit from their stock by renting them out.
>> Shop owners can make a profit from their stocks by renting them out.

As the sharing economy is getting more and more popular, making money by renting goods out is going to become common among businesses.
>> This is a good sentence.

Sharing goods is also good for our environment. 
>> This is a good sentence.

No more virtue to produce and dump goods for capitalism because It is time to think about our environment for our generation and next generation to come.
>> We should no longer produce goods that we'll just dump because it is time to think about our environment for our generation and the next generation to come.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115103 Homework {12/29} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 236
115102 What is your favorite gadget? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 2
115101 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 0
115100 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 566
115099 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 0
115098 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 672
115097 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 0
115096 Describe your comfort zone. Where is it? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 588
115095 Why do you want to learn the English language? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 1
115094 The only thing constant is change. Do you agree with this... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 1
115093 co-worker ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 499
115092 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 2
115091 How do you motivate yourself? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 883
115090 What exotic food would you like to try? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 1
115089 What\'s the biggest risk you\'ve ever made? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 795
115088 What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 428
115087 I want to be a boss, but it\'s not good for me ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 308
115086 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 328
115085 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 530
115084 Korea culture. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 503

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04