¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

 What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: º¯*¿ø
2022-01-19 646

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the worst thing about being in army is that early 20s youths learns unfair system of military. Unfair system is caused from one principle. \\\\\\\"When a superior commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is.\\\\\\\"
The problem is here. As time goes by, every subordinates become superiors regardless of the ability to deal with problematic situation.
And every orders from superiors must be done regardless of(whether?) it (is)being fair , appropriate or moral
That is, youth gains power so easily as they become superior, and the power given without effort or approval from the rest can be easily used badly or greedily
I think that is the worst thing being in army. Adapting to the unfair order system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I think the worst thing about being in army is that early 20s youths learns unfair system of military. 
>> I think the worst thing about being in the army is that the youths of the early 20's learn the unfair system of the military. 

Unfair system comes from one principle. "When a superiod commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is."
>> An unfair system comes from the principle, "When a superior commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is."

The problem is here. As time goes by, every subordinates become superiods regardless of the ability to deal with problematic situation.
>> The problem here is, as time goes by, every subordinate becomes superior regardless of the ability to deal with a problematic situation.

And every orders from superiors must be done regardless of(whether?) it (is)being fair or appropriate.
>> And every order from superiors must be done regardless of whether it is being fair, appropriate, or not.

That is, youth gains power so easily as time goes by, and the power given without effort or approval from the rest can be easily used badly or greedily
>> With that being said, youth gains power so easily as time goes by, and that power is given without effort or approval from the rest and it can be easily used badly or greedily.

I think that is the worst thing being in army. Adapting to the unfair order system.
>> I think that is the worst thing about being in the army, adapting to the unfair order of the system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115391 When was the last time you got sick? Write about it. ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2596
115390 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 384
115389 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 779
115388 If you had grown up in a different city, how would your life... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 667
115387 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 959
115386 Parents should intervene to children\'s shopping ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 849
115385 What was the most difficult time of your life? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1504
115384 What is your greatest accomplishment? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 850
115383 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 429
115382 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 905
115381 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 401
115380 Homework~~~^^ °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 384
115379 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 265
115378 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 994
115377 Is there someone in this room you¡¯re thankful for? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 2
115376 What can transform a person\'s business to a higher level? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1288
115375 homework Àü*¾÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 262
115374 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115373 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115372 What would you do if you could no longer contact the person who... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 410

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04