¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Money is most need thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-20 1014

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Yes, we need to be wise with handling money. It can be very powerful and controlling. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
>> If I was born rich, my parents would teach me how to handle money well. 

But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
>> But if I were poor, I would want to be rich which can be dangerous. 

I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
>> I won't know how to properly use money and I won't have any economic ideas for myself. 

Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.
>> Money is something that we need but if I don't have enough knowledge to handle it, it can be dangerous. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114950 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 2
114949 Transportation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 372
114948 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 337
114947 Do you like trying new reataurants, or do you prefer to go to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 660
114946 Household Chores Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 336
114945 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 409
114944 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 429
114943 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114942 Why do you think eating fish is good for you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114941 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114940 What worry do you have nowadays? What good advice can you give... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 278
114939 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 377
114938 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 319
114937 home work(¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 735
114936 What offers do you always refuse? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 344
114935 What game I play with my mom ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 573
114934 What is the importance of having a close relationship with your... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114933 If Korea getting together ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 630
114932 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 0
114931 Koreans to go back into lockdown À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04